Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
