carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
