Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
