I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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