I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
