ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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