is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
