whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
