I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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