I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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