the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
