saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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