He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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