i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
