I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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