oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
