what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
