They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
