he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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