Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
