i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
