Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize