I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
