Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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