I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I was not drunk enough for that final.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize