So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
