Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
