Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
