Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize