I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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