He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
