This is not my ceiling
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
