just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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