i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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