Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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