i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
