im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
