She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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