He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
