In the future we'll all be gay
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Found your dick twin last night
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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