We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
