This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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