In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
ttyl tear gas
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
