Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
