I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
