Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
