After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
