I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
love makes seman taste better
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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