I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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