I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I touched a dick in church today
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
