End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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