why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
