i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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