Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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