So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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