It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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