you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
