I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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