What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
