Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
