So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
